Saturday, August 13, 2005
dear bloggy,
havent blogged in a million years
since my comp crashed
seriously had no mood to use the comp
cause all my files are gone
so i guess i'll just come online once in awhile
when i feel like it .
uh wells.
so how's life purselyn?
i really donno how to answer
im feeling rather mixed up now
i guess its because of yesterday
just dont feel like doing anything
not even study
and you know what?
prelims are on monday.
sigh. so screwed up.
my first ever heavy pnw session yesterday
i felt i didnt do it up to expection?
i really donno if i was expecting too much
but yeah. i was really disappointed with myself.
this barrier between me and God during the session
yes, leading with a heavy heart isnt a very good idea
i have been asking myself
whats bothering me
whats bugging me
but i really donno.
is it the truth that i really donno why
or is it because i dont wanna think
nor face up to it ?
its just feeling so crazy inside.
i guess ive realised myself more yesterday
and during sharing yesterday
i find it rather meaningful.
it felt great.
one thing i wanted God to change
is that. i want to have more faith in Him.
during pnw yesterday
ive lost sight of Him
and it felt terrible .
how can i bring people closer to God
when i cant even feel Him?
whats wrong with me?it was terribly difficult to find the words to say
maybe i wasnt open enough
maybe i wasnt trusting enough?
im seriously lacking confidence in myself.
urgh whatever .
however,
i wld like to thank
john and
byronfor guiding me and helping me
throughout the whole session
it wldnt be possible without them.
i personally felt they did great .
also
sam, ad, monica, jarrod, sze and many morefor being there for me .
thanks .
off for now .
♥ 4:47 PM